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Razan's Therapeutic Services




Posted on April 22, 2017 at 1:50 PM


We’re all vulnerable to wondering what might have happened if we’d done one thing and not the other, or if we’d only acted when we didn’t. But how we process regret varies from one person to the next.

What’s interesting about regret is that it doesn’t seem hardwired like other basic emotions such as joy, fear, or sadness. Babies don’t feel or express regret, and there’s no universal facial expression for it. What remains interesting about regret is that it’s a negative feeling which can yield either negative or positive results, potentially weighing you down with “if only"s , “ "Coulda,woulda, shoulda” or pushing you to correct your behavior.

It’s believed that personality plays a role in both how regretful you feel and how you manage your feelings of regret. Maximizers always focused on making the best possible choice whereas Satisfiers are content with choices that were "good enough,”. Ask yourself: Are you a maximizer or a satisficer? Are you always looking over your shoulder to see how well other people are doing or are you happy with the choices you’ve made? Looking for “good enough” may be one way of keeping regret to a minimum.

At the end of the day, each of us will regret something we did or didn’t do or say—the road taken or not taken. Perhaps the most important thing is to make sure that regret pushes us toward greater self-knowledge and action, not self condemnation.


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