Why Teens Push Back, and What They’re Really Saying
Parenting a teenager can feel like navigating an emotional maze. One moment, they
want independence; the next, they crave reassurance. When parents step in too much or try to manage every detail, it can lead to frustration, distance, or conflict. But beneath the eye rolls, silence, and pushback, teens are usually communicating something deeper: a need for autonomy, trust, and respect.
1. They’re Learning to Be Independent
Adolescence is a stage of rapid physical, mental, emotional, and neurological growth. Teens are beginning to think for themselves and make their own choices. When parents overstep, it can make them feel incapable or untrusted.
What they’re really saying: “I need to try, even if I don’t do it perfectly.”
2. They Need Emotional Safety, Not Surveillance
Teens want to feel that their inner world is respected. When a parent shares private details, criticizes, or constantly checks in, the teen’s brain perceives it as a loss of safety and privacy. This often triggers withdrawal or anger, which is really a protective response.
What they’re really saying: “Please let me have my own space.”
3. Control Feels Like Rejection
When parents try to control every outcome, teens can interpret it as, “You don’t believe in me.” What parents see as care often lands as control or mistrust. Teens need guidance, but they also need room to learn from natural consequences. What they’re really saying: “Trust that I’m capable, even if I mess up sometimes.”
4. Pushback Is Often a Cry for Respect
Arguing or pulling away doesn’t always mean rebellion. It can actually be a sign that your teen feels unheard or unseen. When you validate their feelings before giving advice, they’re more likely to listen and engage.
What they’re really saying: “I want to be heard, not fixed.”
5. Connection Builds Cooperation
When parents stay calm, curious, and consistent rather than reactive, teens learn that communication doesn’t have to be a battle. A balance of boundaries and empathy teaches emotional regulation, responsibility, and trust.
What they’re really saying: “Stay with me, even when I’m hard to love.”
Teens don’t need perfect parents; they need present ones. By shifting from control to connection, you help your teen feel safe enough to grow, take risks, and come back when they fall. That’s how resilience and lifelong trust are built.
Razan Tuttle, LMFT #84058
Razan’s Therapeutic Services
Supporting Teens, Parents, and Families with Compassion and Clarity.
How Negative Media Affects the Brain
In a world filled with constant updates and breaking news, it’s easy to get caught in a cycle of negative media. While staying informed is important, ongoing exposure to distressing stories, violent imagery, or social media conflict can have a real impact on your mental health — and even on how your brain functions. When you consume negative media, your brain’s amygdala, the emotional alarm system, becomes activated. This triggers the release of stress hormones like cortisol, preparing your body to respond to perceived danger. Over time, this can keep your nervous system in a state of high alert, leading to anxiety, fatigue, difficulty focusing, and even changes in mood. Chronic exposure to negativity can also rewire how we see the world. The brain starts to expect bad news, filtering out positive experiences and reinforcing fear-based thinking. This “negativity bias” makes it harder to relax, connect with others, or experience joy. The good news is that the brain is flexible. By setting healthy boundaries around media use, seeking out positive or educational content, and engaging in mindfulness or grounding activities, you can restore balance and calm. Remember, what you watch doesn’t just inform you; it shapes your emotional landscape. Protecting your mental space is a form of self-care that your mind and body will thank you for. Stress management sessions provide tools and techniques to help you manage stress and improve your overall well-being. We focus on developing healthy coping strategies and techniques for managing stressors in your daily life.
Razan Tuttle, LMFT #84058 Razan’s Therapeutic Services Supporting Teens, Parents, and Families with Compassion and Clarity.
Breaking the Cycle of Negative Self-Talk
We all have an inner voice, the quiet narrator that comments on our experiences, decisions, and sense of self. For some, that voice can be supportive and encouraging. For others, it can be harsh, critical, and unforgiving. This inner critic often develops from early life experiences, societal pressures, or patterns of comparison, and it can influence everything from confidence to emotional well-being.
Negative self-talk often sounds like: “I’m not good enough,” “I always mess things up,” or “No one really cares.” When repeated over time, these messages become internalized beliefs that shape how we see ourselves. The brain begins to accept them as truth, reinforcing self-doubt and keeping us trapped in a cycle of shame and defeat.
The good news is that negative self-talk can be unlearned. The first step is awareness,noticing the tone, words, and themes of your inner dialogue. Ask yourself, “Would I say this to someone I love?” If the answer is no, it’s time to challenge those thoughts with compassion.
Reframing takes practice. Instead of “I can’t do this,” try “This is hard, but I’m learning.” Instead of “I failed,” try “That didn’t go as planned, but I can try again.” These small shifts slowly retrain the brain to create new, healthier neural pathways, ones built on kindness and truth rather than criticism.
Self-compassion isn’t about ignoring your flaws; it’s about embracing your humanity. You’re allowed to make mistakes, to grow, to learn, and to begin again, every single day. When you change how you speak to yourself, you change how you show up in the world.
Remember, healing begins with how you talk to yourself. Speak gently. Speak honestly. Speak as if you are someone worth loving because you are.
Razan Tuttle, LMFT #84058
Razan’s Therapeutic Services
Supporting Teens, Parents, and Families with Compassion and Clarity.